Chapter 14
Noah did not want to meet Jace.
Cassian accepted that.
For almost a year, the brothers existed in separate parts of his life.
Wednesday evenings belonged to Jace.
School events and most weekends belonged to Noah.
Lena remained Jace’s primary parent.
Cassian did not file for immediate shared custody.
Thirteen years of biology did not create thirteen years of relationship.
They built slowly.
Dinner.
Basketball games.
Therapy.
A disastrous fishing trip during which Jace complained for four hours and caught nothing.
Cassian considered it successful.
Jace stopped calling him Dad.
He used Cassian.
One evening he asked:
“Does that bother you?”
Cassian answered:
“No.”
“You’re lying.”
“A little.”
Jace looked almost satisfied.
Cassian continued.
“But the word is yours.”
That quieted him.
Noah had his own therapy.
He remained angry that the adults around Jace talked about Jace being hurt while Noah was the child who had been locked in metal darkness.
Dr. Sara Keene told Cassian:
“Do not make Noah responsible for empathizing with the person who frightened him.”
Cassian nodded.
“He’s Jace’s brother.”
“He is also eight.”
That sentence corrected him.
Cassian stopped mentioning brotherhood as an obligation.
One day a letter arrived for Noah.
From Jace.
Cassian did not open it.
Noah did.
It read:
I was mad at you because I thought you got the dad I was supposed to have. That wasn’t your fault. Locking you in there was mine. You don’t have to forgive me. I’m sorry.
Noah read it twice.
Then placed it in his desk.
Cassian did not ask what he thought.
Three weeks later Noah asked:
“Did Jace really think you picked me?”
“Yes.”
“But you didn’t know him.”
“No.”
Noah looked at the floor.
“That’s sad.”
Cassian waited.
Noah immediately added:
“I’m still mad.”
“You can be both.”
Noah looked up.
That sounded familiar.
“Like angry but not hate?”
“Yes.”
May you like
Noah nodded.
For the first time, he had enough room to see Jace’s pain without being asked to surrender his own.
