Chapter 9 - Simone’s History With Uncertainty
Simone’s father died when she was eleven.
Heart attack.
Unexpected.
Her mother fell apart.
Not permanently.
For eighteen months.
Simone and her younger brother rotated among relatives while their mother dealt with depression, money problems, and moving out of the family house.
No foster care.
No court removal.
Family improvisation.
Three months with an aunt.
Two with grandparents.
Then another aunt.
Different schools.
Different bedrooms.
Always told:
Temporary.
Simone hated the word.
She told Vivienne this years ago.
I had never known.
At fourteen, Simone returned permanently to her mother.
The family stabilized.
But she remembered the uncertainty more than the reunion.
As an adult, she built the opposite life.
Money.
Schedules.
Insurance.
Backups.
Her wedding had three rain plans.
Her daughter had two pediatricians listed.
She carried photocopies of Iris’s health records while traveling.
When Nathan’s drinking worsened during their marriage, Simone did what frightened people often do when fear resembles childhood.
She became more controlling.
Tracked him.
Checked receipts.
Monitored his phone.
Some of that revealed real drinking.
Some became its own poison.
They divorced.
Nathan got sober after the DUI.
Simone expected relapse.
Year one:
Understandable.
Year two:
Still understandable.
Year three:
Expectation became identity.
If Nathan became trustworthy, Simone had to revise the story in which only she could keep Iris safe.
Then came the heart diagnosis.
The cardiologist said surgery had excellent expected outcomes but was not optional forever.
Simone heard:
Your daughter may be passed between houses the way you were.
She began building certainty.
Attorney.
Documents.
Vivienne.
Morello home.
A private school Iris already knew.
A family with staff, money, security, routines.
To Simone, it looked like the safest possible contingency.
The error was not wanting a plan.
The error was constructing a plan that treated living people as components.
Nathan:
replaceable.
Vivienne:
committed because she signed.
Me:
assumed participant.
Callie:
existing child who could adjust.
Iris:
destination already decided.
Fear can produce exquisite organization.
May you like
Organization is not the same as consent.
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