Chapter 6 - Why Ione Was “Spoiled”
According to Marjorie, evidence included:
Ione did not make her bed consistently.
Asked adults to cut pancakes.
Left shoes by door.
Cried when I traveled.
Preferred sleeping with hall light on.
Sometimes asked our housekeeper, Mrs. Alvarez, to find toys instead of looking herself.
At seven.
I listened to that list during family mediation.
Then asked:
“What exactly is the crisis?”
Marjorie answered:
“Dependency.”
She had a point buried under contempt.
I had been doing too much for Ione.
After Celeste died, Ione regressed.
Toileting accidents briefly.
Nightmares.
Separation anxiety.
I carried her more.
Let her sleep in my bed.
Then some habits remained.
By seven, I sometimes still tied her shoes if we were late.
Picked up after her rather than making her stop homework.
Sent Mrs. Alvarez to retrieve forgotten things.
Not catastrophe.
But not ideal.
Marjorie saw:
A Duvall child being raised helpless.
I saw:
A kid who lost her mother.
Both views contained something.
The problem was what Marjorie did with hers.
Teaching work:
Age-appropriate chores.
Good.
Teaching self-sufficiency:
Good.
Making a child kneel in water.
Sleeping beside a laundry room.
Secret travel.
Not good.
Good goals do not sanctify methods.
May you like
That distinction became central.
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