Chapter 17 - Bernice’s Fear of Losing Me
Family therapist, Dr. Helen Park, met with Bernice separately.
Then me.
Not joint at first.
She told me something my mother had finally said aloud.
“When Catherine died, Bernice believed she nearly lost you too.”
“To what?”
“Grief.”
I almost dismissed.
Then remembered.
Six months after Catherine died:
I lost fifteen pounds.
Worked eighteen-hour days.
Barely slept.
Once left Elodie at school forty minutes late because I forgot pickup change.
Bernice stepped in.
She practically lived with us for three months.
Without her, I might have failed more badly.
She earned influence.
Then did not know when to give it back.
When Elodie began symptoms, Bernice saw:
Griffin canceling meetings.
Sleeping beside bed.
Researching at 2 a.m.
She experienced it as recurrence.
Not:
My granddaughter may have heart disease.
But:
My son is disappearing again.
So she tried to prove Elodie was more capable than I believed.
If Elodie could stand:
Griffin could leave.
If Elodie could walk:
Griffin could work.
If symptoms were emotional:
Therapy, not hospital.
Bernice’s target was not only Elodie’s behavior.
It was my attachment.
That was why she tested only when I left room.
She wanted evidence uncontaminated by my presence.
She believed I changed Elodie.
In reality, she changed the conditions.
Fear.
Pressure.
Forced exertion.
Then filmed the first seconds.
May you like
A bad experiment with a child as subject.
────────────────────
