Chapter 20 - Bernice’s Letter
Elodie was eight by the time Bernice wrote a letter the therapist considered appropriate.
It read:
Elodie,
I took Button away from you in the hospital.
Direct.
I pulled you out of bed when you told me you were tired.
There.
I did this more than once.
There.
I thought I was proving that your body could do more than you said.
Then:
The doctors had already told me not to make you walk without help.
Important.
I ignored them.
Then:
I also recorded videos of you because I wanted to convince your dad that you were less sick than he believed.
There.
I was wrong.
Then the hardest part:
You were not responsible for making your father stay near you. You were a child who needed your father.
Excellent.
Then:
Even if some feelings in your body had been caused by worry, I still had no right to frighten or force you.
Very important.
No binary.
Then:
I am sorry.
No:
I love you so please forgive.
No request for contact.
Elodie listened.
Asked:
“Did Grandma write herself?”
“Yes.”
“With therapist?”
“She had help.”
“Is that cheating?”
I laughed.
“No.”
Then:
“Can she visit?”
I froze.
“Do you want?”
“Maybe short.”
Choice.
That became beginning.
May you like
Not restoration.
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