Chapter 16 - Ellie’s safety plan
Child services opened a separate assessment concerning Ellie.
I hated it.
Understood it.
Vivian lived with Ellie.
Vivian had hidden another child in our home.
Vivian had instructed Ellie not to discuss the child.
Investigators needed to know whether Ellie had experienced similar treatment.
She had not.
At least no evidence suggested it.
Ellie described ordinary consequences.
“No tablet.”
“Sit stairs.”
“Clean toys.”
“Mommy mad.”
Nothing severe.
Then:
“Mommy squeeze hand.”
That was the moment from the kitchen.
Was it painful?
“Little.”
Any bruising?
No.
The agency did not remove Ellie from me.
Vivian moved out under temporary court conditions after release.
She stayed with her mother.
Her contact with Ellie became supervised temporarily.
Not because she was convicted already.
Because concealment, coaching secrecy, and the ongoing criminal case created enough concern for an interim plan.
Ellie cried.
“I want Mommy.”
I sat on her bed.
“I know.”
“Mommy bad?”
I had heard that question in other contexts.
I answered carefully.
“Mommy made unsafe choices with Nora.”
“Mommy love me?”
“Yes.”
“Then home?”
“Not right now.”
She screamed.
Kicked her pillow.
Told me:
“You mean.”
Maybe I was, to her.
I did not tell her:
One day you’ll understand.
I hate that sentence.
Instead:
“You can be mad at me.”
She was.
Then slept against my chest twenty minutes later.
Parenting does not require being believed immediately.
Sometimes you hold the boundary while the child hates it.
The difference is the boundary exists for the child’s safety, not the adult’s pride.
May you like
I was learning.
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