Chapter 24 - Celeste’s Letter
Two and a half years after the suitcase incident, after probation treatment and with legal restrictions allowing a one-way screened communication, Celeste requested permission to send Ivy a letter.
Ivy was six.
Her therapist reviewed.
Then me.
Then Ivy decided whether to hear.
She said:
“Yes.”
Celeste wrote:
Ivy,
I put you inside a suitcase and locked it.
Direct.
That was dangerous and frightening.
There.
You told me you wanted your mother’s picture and wanted to call your dad. I should have listened.
There.
Instead I tried to make you stop.
Good.
Then:
I also told you your dad agreed to the trip. He had not.
There.
Your uncle Nolan helped me prepare travel papers that your dad had not approved.
There.
I was scared that if you told people how much you missed your mother, I would never feel like your parent.
That fear belonged to me.
There.
Then:
You did not cause my fear by loving Nora.
Excellent.
No:
But I loved you.
She did say later:
I cared about you very much, but caring about you did not give me permission to control you.
Good.
No request to see.
No forgiveness request.
Ivy listened.
Then:
“Can I throw?”
The letter?
“Yes.”
She tore it once.
Then stopped.
“Recycle?”
We recycled.
No shrine to apology.
May you like
Celeste’s remorse did not become Ivy’s homework.
────────────────────
