Chapter 25 - The First Real Flight
I waited longer than necessary to travel internationally with Ivy.
My fear.
Not hers.
At seven she asked:
“Why we never airplane far?”
We had flown domestic.
No passport needed.
I answered:
“I think I got nervous after Portugal thing.”
“That was Celeste.”
“Yes.”
“Not airplane.”
There.
Children distinguish.
I had not.
We planned Canada first.
Toronto.
Short.
Two nights.
I showed Ivy her passport.
Explained:
“This is yours, but I keep it safe because you’re little.”
“Can Celeste take?”
“No.”
“Can Grandma?”
“Only if I clearly approve and legal rules are followed.”
“Can I?”
“When older.”
She packed a small purple suitcase.
I watched too closely.
She climbed inside? No. That could be retraumatizing and unsafe.
Instead she put stuffed animals in.
Then sat beside it.
“Zip.”
“You do it.”
She zipped.
Then opened.
Again.
Normal luggage.
At airport she asked:
“Need letter?”
“No, because I’m your legal parent traveling with you.”
“Passport?”
“Yes.”
She handed it to agent when asked.
Proud.
No panic.
On plane she fell asleep before takeoff.
I stared out window and realized Celeste had almost turned travel into permanent fear.
We did not let her.
Toronto was cold.
Ivy hated museum I thought she would love.
Loved hotel pool.
Bought terrible souvenir moose.
Normal trip.
That was reclamation.
Not symbolic speech.
May you like
Just going somewhere and coming home.
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