Chapter 20 - Erin Brings the Blue Car
Erin owned one thing of Celia’s I had forgotten.
The blue Subaru.
The Whale.
Celia sold it to Erin cheaply during treatment because she stopped driving.
Erin kept it.
Barely.
The car was eighteen years old and sounded like utensils in a dryer.
One Saturday she drove it to my house.
Lowri ran outside.
“Whale!”
Erin laughed.
“You remember?”
“Mommy car.”
I watched from porch.
For one second my chest hurt.
Then Lowri asked:
“Can ride?”
Car seat.
Safety.
Yes.
We drove around the block.
No memorial ceremony.
The air conditioner barely worked.
Lowri said:
“Mommy liked this?”
“No,” Erin said. “She complained constantly.”
“Why keep?”
“Because she refused to buy another car.”
“That silly.”
“Very.”
Celia became human.
Not photograph mother.
Not illness mother.
Woman who hated her own car.
This was the kind of memory Beatrice’s system had removed.
Messy.
Funny.
Alive.
Afterward Lowri drew the Whale.
Put Celia inside.
Then drew Thomasin? No.
Just Celia.
I did not ask her to add anyone.
Important.
A month later she drew our current house.
Me.
Herself.
Erin visiting.
No Celia.
I noticed.
Said nothing.
Memory did not require inclusion every time.
May you like
That was the correction.
────────────────────
