Chapter 21 - Beatrice’s First Apology
Mediation produced a letter.
Not visitation.
A letter.
Beatrice wrote it with guidance from a family therapist.
Lowri’s therapist reviewed.
I read first.
Beatrice wrote:
Lowri,
I stepped on a photograph of your mother.
Direct.
That was disrespectful to you and to Celia.
Good.
I also told you that you needed to make room for Thomasin after your mother died.
There.
Before your mother died, I talked to you about who might take care of you afterward.
There.
Those conversations were too much for a little child.
Then:
I thought removing some reminders would help you feel less sad because that is how I handled sadness when your grandfather died.
There.
I was wrong to decide that for you.
Good.
Then:
I told people your therapist wanted things she did not actually say.
There.
I believed I was interpreting her advice, but I spoke as if my interpretation was the same as the therapist’s instructions.
Specific.
Then:
Your father asked me to stop some of these things before your mother died, and I did not stop enough.
Important.
No blaming Celia’s illness.
No:
I was only helping.
Then:
I love you. I am not asking you to see me until you want to.
Lowri listened.
She asked:
“Grandma sad?”
“Probably.”
“Can I be mad?”
“Yes.”
“Can I miss?”
“Yes.”
She thought.
“Can both?”
“Yes.”
She put the letter in a drawer.
No response.
That year she did not see Beatrice.
May you like
Choice.
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