Chapter 5 - Thomasin Before the Funeral
Thomasin had known our family for years.
Her brother worked with my cousin.
She attended fundraisers.
Holiday parties.
Once spent a weekend at my mother’s lake rental with twenty other people.
Celia liked her enough.
Not intimately.
During the last year of Celia’s illness, Thomasin helped more.
She dropped groceries.
Took Lowri to a playground twice with my mother.
Sat in waiting rooms.
No affair.
I checked that part of myself carefully.
No hidden romance.
No messages.
No betrayal while Celia lived.
Our first private dinner happened eight months after Celia’s death.
The problem began earlier.
Thomasin’s relationship with my mother.
Beatrice liked her.
A lot.
Same social instincts.
Same standards.
Same belief that a child should not:
“run the house.”
During Celia’s illness, my mother began inviting Thomasin to family events specifically because:
“Lowri is comfortable with her.”
Maybe Lowri was.
At three, comfortable means:
She knows your face and you give her crackers.
Then came April 18.
The photograph.
What happened that day?
Celia had taken Lowri to preschool.
My mother picked her up.
Thomasin joined them at a café.
Later Celia returned early from an infusion appointment because treatment was canceled due low blood counts.
She found all three at home.
According to Lowri? Too young then.
According to Celia’s note, my mother had told her:
“Thomasin will help take care of Daddy and you when Mommy goes to heaven.”
Was Thomasin present?
Yes.
Did Thomasin agree?
That became the question.
She denied hearing the exact sentence.
Possible.
The living room was large.
Lowri might have been with Beatrice near the kitchen.
But another detail emerged.
Three days later Thomasin texted my mother:
Celia seemed upset with me. Did I do something?
Beatrice:
She is emotionally raw. Don’t take it personally. Lowri will need women she trusts when the time comes.
Thomasin:
Of course.
Then:
I’m happy to help however you need.
Not evidence of replacement plot.
But participation in my mother’s imagined future.
Later Thomasin said:
“I thought she meant babysitting.”
Maybe.
I could not prove otherwise.
The problem was what happened after Celia died.
Thomasin began hearing the replacement language directly.
May you like
And did not stop it.
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