Chapter 8 - My Last Conversation With Aaron
I found our text history.
I almost wish I had not.
Three weeks before his death:
Aaron:
Can Drew stay with you Saturday?
Me:
Working.
Aaron:
Sunday?
Me:
Why?
Aaron:
Need him out of house while I talk to lawyer.
Me:
About divorce?
Aaron:
About kids.
Me:
Reena says you grabbed him again.
Long pause.
Aaron:
She told you that?
Me:
Yes.
Aaron:
I grabbed him because he ran into parking lot. Ask him why he’s scared of basement.
There.
I replied:
Pete? I am Peter. Sorry. My response:
What basement?
Aaron:
Come over.
I did not.
Work.
Then another text.
Me:
If you think she’s hurting them call CPS.
Aaron:
I talked to attorney first. I need evidence or she says I’m retaliating.
Me:
You both need to stop using kids.
He replied:
Fuck you.
Last meaningful exchange.
Two days later he sent:
Sorry.
I answered:
Me too.
Then logistics.
Then death.
I had taken conflict neutrality and turned it into moral equivalence.
You both need to stop.
Maybe he had shouted.
Maybe Reena had accused.
I wanted to stand in middle because middle felt fair.
Sometimes middle is simply farther from the person asking for help.
That became my mistake to carry.
Not forever as self-punishment.
May you like
But honestly.
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