Chapter 17 - Amanda and Claire Speak
Claire resisted meeting Amanda.
Then agreed after almost two years.
Why?
Ruby.
Not because Ruby demanded.
Because Ruby had begun asking questions about foster care.
At thirteen? Wait three years later Ruby would be 14 if 11 now. But this meeting maybe at two years, Ruby 13. Fine.
She remembered:
Mandy.
The stuffed fox.
A yellow bedroom.
And:
“Mommy necklace gone.”
Claire did not want to give Ruby an adult story built entirely from her own anger.
She wanted Amanda’s acknowledgment in writing.
A mediator arranged a meeting.
Claire opened:
“Did you take the pendant?”
Amanda answered:
“Yes.”
No dance.
“Why did you tell me preschool lost it?”
“Because I knew you would ask for it back.”
“Why didn’t you want me to have it?”
Amanda’s eyes filled.
“Because Ruby wanted you when she looked at it.”
Claire stared.
“That was the point.”
“Yes.”
Silence.
Amanda continued:
“I thought wanting you was keeping her from attaching to us.”
“She was supposed to stay attached to me.”
“Yes.”
That single yes did more than the old settlement had.
Not reconciliation.
Reality.
Claire asked:
“Did you want to adopt her?”
“Yes.”
“Even after I was doing well?”
Amanda hesitated.
“Yes.”
“Did you hope I failed?”
That was harder.
Amanda cried.
“Sometimes.”
Claire stood.
The mediator asked if she wanted a break.
Claire shook her head.
“No. I needed that answer.”
She did not slap Amanda.
Did not scream.
Did not forgive.
She left after twenty-three minutes.
Later she told me through counsel:
“I finally stopped wondering whether I imagined the competition.”
Truth did not repair them.
It returned ownership of memory.
May you like
Sometimes that is enough.
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