Chapter 25 - I travel again
For eighteen months, I avoided overnight business travel.
Then my therapist asked:
“Is this for Eli or for you?”
Both.
Eli was fourteen.
He noticed.
“You can go.”
“I don’t need to.”
“You’re weird now.”
“Thank you.”
“You used to leave too much. Now you never leave.”
Children detect overcorrection.
We planned one overnight trip.
Patricia stayed.
Eli had his phone.
Private.
No one monitored messages.
At 8:30 p.m. I called.
Then stopped myself.
Texted:
Free if you want to talk. No need if you’re busy.
He responded:
playing game. fine.
I stared at fine.
Trauma word.
Then:
Want me to call?
He replied:
no lol
I trusted that.
Next morning he sent a photo of burned pancakes Patricia made.
Normal.
Travel returned gradually.
Less than before.
Not zero.
Safety built around systems, not my permanent physical presence.
That mattered.
May you like
I could not teach Eli that the only safe world was one where Dad never left.
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