Chapter 23 - Matthew does not replace me
Matthew Keene approached parenthood carefully.
He did not show up with expensive gifts.
Good.
First meeting:
Therapist’s office.
Second:
Public park.
Third:
Lunch.
Adrian called him Matthew.
For almost a year.
Matthew’s daughters were twelve and fourteen.
They knew Adrian was their half-brother.
Relationships developed awkwardly.
One daughter liked him immediately.
The other resented the disruption.
Normal.
Matthew once told me privately:
“I don’t know what my role is.”
“Neither do I.”
“You’ve been his father.”
“Yes.”
“I’m his father.”
“Biologically.”
He looked offended.
I continued:
“And that matters. So does history.”
We did not become friends.
But we did something more useful.
We refused to make Adrian choose which man’s identity was valid.
At eleven, Adrian started calling Matthew:
“Dad Matt.”
I remained:
“Dad.”
Was that confusing?
Probably.
May you like
Children survive complicated naming better than adults survive complicated pride.
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