Chapter 4 - My Visitation Agreement
Vanessa was Lily’s mother.
Lily’s father, my son-in-law Michael, had died two years earlier in a boating accident.
Lily had been fourteen months old.
Michael and I were close.
His death nearly destroyed Vanessa.
For the first year, I did not interfere.
I helped.
Childcare.
Meals.
House repairs.
Whatever she asked.
Eventually Vanessa began dating Daniel.
I did not object.
Adults are allowed to continue living.
The conflict began when she started limiting Lily’s time with me.
A canceled Sunday.
Then two.
Then a month.
The explanation changed.
Lily tired.
Lily needed routine.
Daniel’s family had plans.
I was spoiling her.
At first, I tolerated it.
Then Michael’s parents contacted me.
They were being excluded too.
We all tried mediation.
Vanessa eventually agreed to a formal grandparent-contact schedule.
Not because I wanted legal control over her parenting.
Because predictable contact mattered to Lily after losing her father.
One Saturday every two weeks.
Occasional overnight visits.
Holiday time.
No parental decision-making.
Vanessa remained Lily’s legal parent.
I was Grandpa.
That boundary was appropriate.
Then she began telling people Lily became:
May you like
“dysregulated”
after seeing me.
